After I wrote yesterday’ post, I realized that I left out an important detail. I wrote about how I no longer have high expectations which I reach for in my music, but rather I only concern myself with taking the next step in improving my performance. What I didn’t mention is that there is a big reason why this is easier for me to do now than it was back when I was studying at New England Conservatory. Whereas back then, my whole life was structured around high expectations, now my life is structured around awareness and consciousness.

For some time now, Jung and I have been working to become more conscious and aware of the here and now, and to concern ourselves less and less with what is done and gone in the past as well as what might be in the future. We have made a conscious choice to focus on the present as much as possible, to take each day as it comes and to respond only to what is in front of us.

Living with awareness and consciousness allowed Jung and me to see daily opportunities when they presented themselves to us; for instance, taking the past three weeks one day at a time. It is this same awareness and consciousness which allows me to approach my piano practice one step at a time as well. Instead of seeing all the weak points in my music as a daunting punch list requiring endless hours of practice to fix, I am able to quickly identify the one weak point which will give me the most joy and pleasure to strengthen. I then practice that one aspect. When I am done, I identify the next point which I will enjoy strengthening, and so on.

This has brought joy back to my piano practice and has enabled me to reach the higher standards which I wrote about yesterday.

When I tried to juggle yesterday, today, and tomorrow between my two hands, I never could grasp any one of them very well. Holding onto today firmly with both my hands has granted me greater clarity and understanding of the here and now, as well as guidance on my next steps which has all but dissolved my anxiety about the future.

Living in the moment is the greatest gift I ever gave myself, and it was all made possible by practicing awareness and consciousness.