S and J played Dungeons and Dragons (D&D) with three other girls at our house this afternoon. Two of them are friends from school, and the third went to school with them until last year, but now she goes to a different school. Charles ran the game as Dungeon Master.

Last December, S and J asked for a D&D game with this same group of friends for their birthday party, and all five girls had a ball. When I saw how successful the party was even though for two of the players it was their first D&D game ever, I offered Charles a proposal which he couldn’t refuse: a monthly gathering of these five “warrior” girl friends at our house for a D&D game throughout the Year 2012!

Last year and the year before, Charles, S and J were playing D&D with another family from their school. The parents of their (boy) classmate have both played D&D since high school, and the husband is an experienced Dungeon Master. He also ran a D&D campaign for adults, and Charles was one of the regular participants in the adult campaign. At the time, Charles was eagerly looking for a community of like-minded folks, so he was glad to find gamers to get acquainted with, and to help the classmate’s father as an adult player in the kids’ D&D games along with S, J, and three other children: the Dungeon Master’s son (S and J’s classmate), the son’s younger sister, and another boy classmate of S and J.

Last spring, the adult game series ended abruptly without much explanation, and there hasn’t been a single session of the kids game since last summer. Both S and J very much enjoyed the role-playing game sessions and eagerly looked forward to getting together with the others to play the game so much that it pained me to see my daughters yearning for a gaming session which never came. It would have been helpful if S and J had heard from their classmates’ father that there wouldn’t be any more games. It would probably have been disappointing, but closure would have been better than their endless unfulfilled hope springing eternal.

I truly believe that closures and endings are as important as openings and beginnings in life. Unequivocal (and hopefully honorable more often than not) closures and endings allow us to move on and create space for new shoots and sprouts to spring forth.

In relationships, I’ve learned that it takes two to tango. By the end of last year, it became clear to me that the kids game was over, although their classmate’s father didn’t give a proper ending to the kids D&D game series by making it clear that there wouldn’t be any more future gatherings. We still haven’t heard from him, so I can say with reasonable certainty that my hunch was right then and it still is. In any event, it doesn’t matter to me except that both S and J are still wishing (albeit with less hope) that the game will magically resume somehow.

I could no longer bear the look on my daughters’ disappointed faces every time they asked, “When will we play the D&D game again at X’s house?” and Charles replied, “I don’t know, Sweeties. I haven’t heard from X’s Dad when the next game will be.” So, I asked Charles, “If we don’t have a group to play in, or a community to invite us to join, why don’t we create one ourselves?”

Necessity is the mother of invention. Charles saw clearly where I was going with this, and he was willing to try being a Dungeon Master himself. I knew that he’d do anything for our daughters, not only for the sake of playing games with them, but also to model for them that if we don’t find a community to belong to, then we can create it ourselves! With our imagination, creativity, and commitment, we can make anything happen. We want our daughters to learn that they don’t need to wait for others to do something for them, or to allow the things they care about to be left up to chance. Hence, the idea of a monthly D&D game with S and J’s three close girls friends was born on their birthday last year, and we’ve had two games so far this year: one in January and the second one today.

It takes Charles time to prepare the game sessions. I cannot get into the game for the life of me. I’ve tried because I want to play it along with S, J and Charles, but instead I contribute to the session by providing freshly-popped popcorn, and home-made cookies for the players. I confess that my idea for the monthly game was born mostly out of a selfish motive: I love seeing the five girls having fun in role-playing games! I can feel their friendship growing, see their creative minds wheeling around, and hear their imagination sparkling like pixie-dust as they venture together in the imaginary realm of elves, dwarfs, halflings, monks, bards, evil gods and goddesses to solve mysteries, battle monsters, and conquer evil forces as their adventures come to denouement.

May they cherish and nourish their wild, creative, and soulful genius throughout their lives no matter how old they are in this world!

May they never lose the sight of their creative fire, passion for fun and joy, and heartfelt friendship for one another!

May their unique gifts and talents be honored, nurtured, and animated as they journey through Life in their dream quests now and forever!

May the guardian angels, gods and goddesses, and Wild Mother, protect them, guide them, and show them their ways, when we, the parents, cannot reach our daughters, as they travel through the unknown territories of life!