(For 105 days, I’ve been unsure of what to write for the “About Charles” section of the Soul Play Family website. Today, it came to me in a flash: this is what I am going to put there.)

Growing up in the small, seaside New England town of Rockport, Massachusetts I always felt pulled between my multiple interests in the arts and the sciences. It’s no wonder I attempted a double concentration in music and physics at Harvard College. However, my physics advisor was convinced that the two disciplines had nothing in common and pressured me to choose one. I chose music. After many years studying and working in all areas of music: theory, history, performance, composition and even administration and pipe organ construction, I discovered that I no longer enjoyed music as I once had. To be honest, I felt numb altogether; I became incapable of feeling passion for any work at all. This was becoming clear to me at the same time as I began the dissertation phase of my Ph.D. at Harvard University. It was not the best timing, to be sure. In the middle of my struggling with what to do next, Jung gave birth to our twin daughters and I found a passion: I knew that more than anything in the world I wanted to dedicate my time to raising these two miracles of life, so I ended my Ph.D. studies and received a masters instead (to add to my masters in classical piano performance from New England Conservatory).

I never regretted my decision to be a full-time parent, but I always felt that something was still missing in my life. Wondering whether I prematurely ended my old academic career, I resumed my Ph.D. dissertation research and designed my own undergraduate Ethnomusicology course in Asian music. Even after we moved from Boston, I transferred my fieldwork to Seattle, but ultimately I decided that pursuing my degree was not worth the precious time it was taking away from my family, and I stopped my Ph.D. studies for the second time.

I turned my back on music and decided to explore all the options I had previously ignored: computer programming, web design, “personal branding,” logo design, teaching, photography, writing, and more. Jung was extraordinarily patient with me as I ran to her time and time again saying, “This time I’m sure!”

The key piece I was missing was that I had lost touch with the passion of my heart. I felt love for my wife and children, but couldn’t find any passion for any work I tried. During all of my schooling, I allowed my education to pull me away from my soul. In my striving to please my teachers and to get good grades, I turned my back on my heart and soul and walked away. I walked so far that I could no longer see how to get back.

When Jung started on her road to become friends with her heart and soul, I became drawn into the penumbra of her quest and through our constant conversations about what she was learning and by experimenting with some of the techniques that she was trying, I began the long walk back to my own heart and soul. As they both began to come into view, I rediscovered my love of music and allowed myself the freedom to play with music as if it were for the first time. I dove into composition, I began teaching myself jazz piano, and I’m exploring the call I hear to spread my love of co-creative music making.

My relationship with my work was healed by experiencing the love of my Family, by learning how to Play without judgement, and by becoming true friends with my Soul, for the first time in my adult life. Soul Play Family rekindled my passion and purpose for work, and I cherish each new gift it gives me every day!