Recently I began re-reading the book, Women Who Run With The Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés. It is an old gift from my mother-in-law. I don’t recall exactly when she gave it to me, but I think it was before my marriage, which would make it at least 15 years ago when I received it from her. I am wholeheartedly grateful to her because I am rediscovering the timeless truth, love, and power of feminine wisdom in her gift. It has become an invaluable guide book for me.

Certain things in life take time. I don’t recall appreciating the book as much then as I do now. Although life experiences and the years we add to our age don’t always yield maturity, they can often teach us valuable life lessons if we stay open and curious to learn from the School of Life. And if we are really attentive, then they generously and tenaciously help us to remember who we truly are. I am so astonished that this book speaks to me with language that I understand, not only cognitively, but also intuitively and instinctively. I attribute this new understanding to the life experiences I gained since the first time I opened the book, as well as to the amazing insight and incredible wisdom transmitted through Dr. Estés, the author.

Personally, it would be an understatement for me to say that this book is a gem. It is more accurately an entire treasure chest filled with myths and stories of the “Wild Woman” archetype. In her compassionate, loving and colloquial voice, Dr. Estés imparts age-old wisdom which at one time must have been orally handed down in various cultures and regions of the world from mother to daughter, from grandmother to grand-daughter, and from the wise old woman of the village to young women, generations after generations before my time — before our time. There is so much truth, wisdom and power in these stories that sometimes I feel my heart tremble and ache as I feel the stories resonate at the level of my inner knowing.

Last night I read the chapter on “Finding One’s Pack: Belonging as Blessing.” Dr. Estés tells her version of Hans Christian Andersen’s children’s story, “The Ugly Duckling,” to teach, encourage, and empower women who feel they do not quite belong in families, communities, or societies that demand of girls and women to conform and be molded into the cultural norm or conventional female stereotype. I have read, heard, and even watched a children’s theater play performance of this story many times in my life; however, I was enthralled to learn Dr. Estés’ rendition of the story as well as her insightful analysis of what the story teaches us about finding one’s own beauty and community of kindred spirits! It was especially poignant for me, perhaps because of where I am currently in my own journey.

Her wisdom was so nourishing and encouraging that I wished I had read this a long time ago. I might have read it when I first received the book from my mother-in-law, and I might have found this chapter especially useful to me then, too, for I have felt like an Ugly Duckling most of my life. However, my sense is that the same material wasn’t as powerful and inspirational to me the first time because I was at a different place in my journey then. I wasn’t as conscious and aware as I am now about myself, or about the people, things and events in my life.

Furthermore, I can only learn so much from a book. I would love the presence of a wise and wild woman in my life to guide me and teach me. In fact, I wish every woman in the world were blessed with at least one wise and wild woman in their lives to guide them through the various thresholds they encounter as they grow older. One particular passage in the book struck a chord in me when I read it:

“There is a saying, tu puedes saber muchas coasa, you can know about things, but it is not the same as sentido, possessing sense. The duckling seems to know ‘things,’ but he has no sense. He is unmothered, meaning untaught at the most basic level. Remember, it is the mother who teaches by expanding the innate talents of the offspring. Animal mothers who teach their offspring to hunt are not exactly teaching them ‘how to hunt,’ for that is in their bones already. But they are teaching them what to watch out for, what to pay attention to; those things are not known to them until the mother shows them, thereby activating new learning and innate wisdom.”

To embody my own belief — “Be the change you want to see in the world,” as stated eloquently by Gandhi — I will transform my vision — of every woman in the world having at least one wise and wild woman in their lives to guide them — into a reality by starting with myself. I will teach my daughters “what to watch out for, what to pay attention to” and show them things that are not known to them and activate “new learning and innate wisdom” to guide them through many thresholds awaiting them in their lives. They will have many books to supplement their learnings, I am certain, but I will do my best to share with my daughters the wise and wild old women’s wisdom that I’ve learned through Dr. Estés’ work as well as through my own life experiences, to protect, support, and most of all equip them to live true to the shape of their wild, creative, and splendid souls!