On Day 50, Jung wrote a little about the power of celebration. She mentioned there that she learned the power of celebration “over time.” What she didn’t mention is that by the time she met me, she had figured it out and then she had to teach me about it.

When I was growing up, celebrations were limited to traditional holidays and birthdays. Doing a good job would merit some praise or an “attaboy,” but I never experienced doing something big to mark an accomplishment. I think I always felt that succeeding wasn’t anything special; it what was expected of me and eventually it became what I expected of myself. If I performed well or got a good grade, then that was to be expected. If I fell short, however, then I failed my teachers, my parents and myself. The more I lived out this mindset, the less I felt inclined to celebrate successes. As I progressed through school, each success seemed to be worth a little less when weighed against my growing list of “failures.” (In retrospect it’s interesting that I kept adding my “failures” to a running list while I merely noted and then discarded my successes. That is why I was always measuring one success against a mounting horde of failures. Don’t try this at home, folks!)

I think this is why I found the idea of celebrating outside of birthdays and traditional holidays hard to accept. I know there were many times when Jung almost became exasperated trying to convince me that I should celebrate one of my achievements. I’m sure she was flabbergasted that I wouldn’t jump at the chance! In my mind, however, I hadn’t earned it. I remember one time in particular when I had passed a particularly difficult language exam as part of my Ph.D. studies. When I came home to tell her the news, she immediately wanted to go celebrate, while I felt the pressure of the next exam and wanted to begin studying that night!

She won that battle and I think that was the beginning of my being able to accept that I deserved to celebrate my successes. Not only that, but after experiencing subsequent celebrations with Jung, I learned that celebrating creates a surge in confidence and energy. That may have even begun the rebuilding of my self-confidence. Most of all, I get a surge of creative energy around celebration that helps me to take what I’ve accomplished and bring it forward into the next creation. I can’t imagine living without it!

Now, we not only celebrate our own accomplishments, but also those of our children. It could be as simple as having an extra dessert night in honor of the proud child, or we may plan a special activity for the weekend. We distinguish this from a reward and always remind that their true reward comes from inside: their own appreciation of themselves. We teach them that celebration is shared with and acknowledged by people who care about them. We want them to experience celebration early, so they can get in the habit of feeling that surge of energy launching them forward.

As we have tried to more consciously create our family, we have begun to add some additional celebrations into our family life. Two of those are to mark the summer and winter solstice. I enjoy the way we pause when celebrating the solstice and take a look around. We look at it almost like a doorway where we leave something behind before passing through, and pick something up on the other side. What do we want to let go of as we move into the next season? What do we want to take on? We also like to talk about the astronomical, natural, and cultural aspects of the solstice.

What do you celebrate, and what could you celebrate?

I’m not sure why I used to resist celebration so much before. They used to appear to be extravagant, indulgent and superfluous, but now I see them as essential to the fullness of life. I’ve also learned that celebration can be as elaborate as all the trappings of Christmas, or as simple as a home-baked chocolate chip cookie and a family cheer!

I found yesterday’s winter solstice celebration to be just right. We baked a “solstice cake” (darkness on the bottom and the light on top), talked together about what each of us was going to let go of and take on, ate some cake, read a National Geographic article Jung found about the solstice, and ate some more. It was a sweet solstice to remember!