Perhaps my daughter J’s cold has rubbed off on me. I’ve been feeling under the weather since yesterday afternoon. I am hoping to shake this bug off as soon as I can to fully enjoy the rest of this holiday season. Notwithstanding this “unwelcomed visitor,” we were able to celebrate the winter solstice last night with a black-and-white cake which I baked with help from Charles and the girls.

Being out of sorts and feeling sick made me pause and appreciate my health. It is so easy to take a healthy body for granted just like we take the air, water, and many other everyday things for granted. These things seem to be “automagically” accessible to us whenever we want them until something goes wrong and we cannot have them. Although I can only do so much to prevent illnesses, natural disasters, and ecological break-downs, I realize I can do better at appreciating and consciously enjoying what I have with gratitude.

With my new “slow living” practice, it is definitely getting easier for me to have the wherewithal to practice being conscious about what I want to be, do and have. Even when I slip off the path now and then, I find myself getting back to consciousness more quickly and effortlessly than I used to. Inspired by what Charles said last week while wrapping the gifts to send to our relatives on the East Coast, I gave myself a holiday gift: Enjoy what I have rather than getting more of what I don’t need.

It is almost amusing to me how easy it was to shift my perspective on this matter. When I used to focus on what I wanted or needed to get, I wasn’t conscious about knowing — let alone appreciating — what I had. Even worse, I didn’t know what I truly wanted or needed. I remember spending unnecessary time and money on another sweater, scarf, or shirt that looked cute, cuddly, or chic. Looking back, those purchases were cheap tricks to treat internal break-downs and cracks which needed to be soothed, smoothed, or glued. These clothing items not sit in my closet, mostly looking both aloof and forlorn; it’s clear that I didn’t need another “thing” to feel whole.

I now know that when my soul is starved, malnourished, or thirsty, no “thing” will cure it. What I needed more than anything was my own love and compassion to connect with my inner light and true self. I already had all of these in me and didn’t have to look elsewhere to get them. They were in me and with me all along. All I needed was to shift my gaze to look for them inside me! This is another good practice for me to experiment with: when I look outside myself to get, acquire, or buy something, it is an alert for me to pause and make a conscious inquiry as to whether I really need or want to consume or collect that “thing.” Whatever feels lacking may already exist inside me and all I need is to reclaim or rediscover it.

So, I am enjoying what I have this holiday season. Having three home-cooked meals with organic ingredients, with the whole family while our daughters are on school vacation is a real blessing for which I am grateful, even though it involves a lot of cooking and cleaning for Charles and me. Having family time playing games, taking walks, baking cookies and cakes, and just having conversations on any topic of choice that inspires us in the moment, is a priceless gift that money cannot buy. Having heartfelt appreciation for family, friends, wondrous Nature that provides amazing variety and quality of food from Planet Earth, and those who farm, harvest, and deliver them to our table … the list goes on.

The surprise gift of enjoying what I already have is a profound gratitude that flows from my inner spring out into the world. And THAT is my humble gift to everyone in this awe-filled and blissful holiday season.