I wish to confess something. I want to change the world. I want my daughters to raise their families in a world different from this one. I dream of a world where differences are celebrated and people co-create for the benefit of all. I dream of a world where Gross National Happiness has replaced Gross National Product in all nations. I dream of a world where individual success is measured by how much you are able to be who you truly are meant to be, rather than by how much you have in titles, material possessions, and power over others.

I am determined to do what I can in my own way to push the world in the direction of my vision. The first, and most important way to do that, is to embody this vision myself. This has had a transformative effect on my thinking and writing. In the past, I have often fallen prey to righteous indignation when I felt that a value I held dear was being called into question. I’ve even engaged in more than one Internet fight, a fact that I’m not very proud of anymore.

It’s not that I’m ashamed of sticking up for what I believe in. If anything, those fights were important stages in the development of my voice. These days, however, I find it easier to simply “vote with my attention,” rather than picking fights. After all, attention is the currency of the Internet, and is especially valuable to those who are being intentionally provocative. By simply dropping such people out of my RSS feed, social media accounts, browser bookmarks and the like, I have simultaneously removed a little of their “attention income,” and more importantly, I have preserved a little more of my energy for the people who truly matter to me.

This combination of wanting to change the world along with being very aware of how the Internet and attention economy works is what has transformed my thinking and writing. First of all, if someone hasn’t asked to debate with me, I don’t. I feel no need to impose my thoughts on those who don’t care about what I think. Imposing my thoughts on such people is at its best a monumental waste of energy, and at its worst can lead me to fight with those who have no desire to fight with me. I’d rather converse with the curious, or debate with doubters, than orate to the obstinate. Among other things, there’s a better chance that I will be able to learn and grow myself from a conversation or a debate than from a fight.

Second, I’m much more careful now to separate what has personal value to me from what I believe has value to our species. For instance, I believe that everyone would benefit from more happiness. I do not, however, believe that everyone would feel more motivated if they created their works through play. I know that is true for me, and it may be true for others, but I feel equally confident that some people’s internal engine could be quite different from mine. When I write posts like yesterday’s, I am writing it for myself first: I have discovered power in publicly proclaiming my personal truths. When I put them out there for everyone to read it helps me to live true to them. Secondly, I am writing such posts for anyone who may see themselves reflected in my self-discovery, or for whom my discovery helps their own self-discovery, no matter how different it may be from mine.

As part of trying to remain honest, however, I am now much more careful to question myself whenever I think everybody should value something that I value. I harbor no illusions about the challenges in creating my dream-world where differences are celebrated and people co-create for the benefit of all. It requires vigilance to ensure that we preserve as much diversity of human culture as possible, while co-creating a world which benefits all.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about this in relation to Christmas. It’s been bothering me partly because a childhood friend whom I follow on Facebook has made it a habit to always write Christmas as “CHRISTmas.” That capitalization doesn’t come across to me as a sincere celebration of her faith, but rather as posturing or even a challenge to those who may not share her beliefs. Because I’ve gotten much better at ignoring expressions like this these days, I had trouble putting my finger on why this particular one was bothering me so much until I read yesterday’s post by author John Scalzi.

Although he uses rougher language than I’m generally comfortable with, he expressed very effectively how I feel about this season and how we can all enjoy it together in the spirit of my dream-world: celebrating our differences and co-creating shared celebration. The end of his post speaks the strongest to me:

“As a non-believer, when someone says ‘Merry Christmas’ to me, I say ‘Merry Christmas’ back, because generally speaking I understand that what ‘Merry Christmas’ means in this context is ‘I am offering you good will in a way I know how,’ and I appreciate that sentiment. Left to my own devices, I use ‘Happy holidays’ because I know a lot of people who aren’t Christians (or at least Christmas-centered) and that seems the best way to express my own good will; the vast majority of people get what I’m doing and appreciate that sentiment too.

“I think most people get the idea that regardless of religion or lack thereof, we’ve designated this time of year as the one where we make an effort to be decent to each other. Accept it. Welcome it. Live it, in the best way you know how. Be tolerant and gracious when others share this sentiment in a way different than you would. Look for what they’re saying means, not just the words they use to say it. It would be a fine way to have everyone enjoy the season.” —John Scalzi

Just as Nature’s bounty and beauty depends on its astounding variety and differences, I believe the bounty and beauty of human culture come from our astounding variety and differences. Human religions, traditions and beliefs have generated some of our greatest works of art through our souls’ endeavor to express that which defies expression. This is the season when these differences are most loudly displayed around me.

I could try to convince those who believe differently from me to express Christmas my way, and I could take every opportunity to “educate” them on how they are “wrong,” but I have chosen not to. In fact, I have chosen to revel in the cacophony of our diverse beliefs, and I’ve found much more to revel in, if I let everyone be free to enjoy the season in the way their spirit leads them.

Be Well, and Be Merry!