As I wrote in yesterday’s post, I’ve jettisoned my masks which I used to put on to go to work. They are no longer necessary. No more wearing make-up either, but then I wasn’t a huge fan of make-up even during my corporate career. At some point even before MyCrownShift, I discovered that I felt better when I didn’t wear make-up because, interestingly enough, I felt more confident not wearing it. I might have subconsciously equated make-up with masks, and decided to do away with my visible make-up before doing away with my invisible masks. I’ve grown to like my face “as is.”

Not only have I done away with my masks and make-up, but also I rarely call on my old friend “Will” (a/k/a Will Power) who used to be joined at the hip with me so that I could get stuff done whether my heart was in it or not. I can attest that more often than not, my hands and my heart were not communicating or connected to each other when I was in corporate employment. In fact, I got to the point where I felt that my salary was my compensation for doing what didn’t make me come alive, not so much for doing the work per se. But of course, as soon as I thought that, Madam Secure Rita used to pipe in with her screechy voice and say, “You are fortunate to have a job that pays well! Are you kidding me? So many people are out of a job, and so many people work harder than you do, or have multiple jobs to make ends meet, and still get paid less than you do. So, stop griping and be grateful!” Well, Madam Rita and I have parted ways as well. She and Will (Power) don’t visit so often these days and I’d like to keep it that way gladly!

Getting rid of my masks and the visits from Madam Rita and Will Power have turned out to be a wonderful cure for LDS – Laughing Deficiency Syndrome! I have now befriended my own, naked face. It may sound funny to others because it sounds funny to me, too, to say “I love the reflection of my own face.” Now I look at myself in the mirror whenever and wherever I find one in front of me, and I see myself eye-to-eye. I no longer feel uncomfortable looking at myself. In fact, I look right into my eyes as reflected in the mirror (it only takes a second or two), and I smile. And my reflection smiles back at me! Sometimes I say, “I love you!” and my mirror image tells me it loves me, too. Whatever I say or do, my reflection gives the same back to me! Ha! Why didn’t I know this before? Even as recently as a couple of months ago, I recall seeing my frowns, long faces, sad eyes, and the hanging corners of my mouth. In addition, instead of showing compassion for the less-than-desirable-me, I’d say: “That was stupid!” “You’re not smart enough!” “You aren’t talented at all!” “You are a coward!” “You’re lazy!” And many other negative, judgmental and self-critical phrases, and I heard the same back from my mirror image! What else did I expect? No wonder I used to enter a self-perpetuating downward spiral when I saw the reflection of the less-than-desirable-me reflected on the mirror.

However, looking at the reflection of my happy self in the mirror today, I saw something else present: my revelation that I have already given and received my holiday gifts this year. There are three gifts I gave myself, and I know they have been fully received with gratitude:

Loving and honoring myself just the way I am made - Made in the U.S.A. (Uniquely Stunning Address): I’ve done away with my masks and I am able to keep them away by loving and honoring myself just the way I am made. I’ve discovered how much creative energy and joy I get by simply loving myself wholly and completely. Not just the parts of me that I’m proud of, but all other parts as well: all of the good, bad and ugly. I firmly believe now that nothing is possible without loving myself first and foremost. When I feel down and out, I look at myself in the mirror and say, “I love you anyway!” When I make a mistake, I look at myself in the mirror and say, “I love you anyway!” When I feel boastful or vindictive, I look at myself in the mirror and say, “I love you anyway!” If I don’t love myself first, I cannot love anyone else. If I don’t love myself first, I won’t be able to be who I want to become, do what I love to manifest, or have what I truly deserve in life.

Slowing down and being present in the moment: I wrote about “Slow Living is In; Slow Living is Cool!” in my Day 42 post. Resisting my urge to call on “Will Power” and slowing down to the speed of life is a magic combination: it opens the door to spaciousness for me to catch a breath and to stay present in the moment. It allows me to genuinely appreciate the joy, peace, love and freedom which are always present in any moment if I can only slow down enough to see, feel and hear them. I used to race from Point A to Point B all day from the minute I woke up with my annoying alarm in the morning to the minute my head hit the pillow at night, like a little video game figure that needs to collect all the bonus points to build up a winning score by the end of the game. I was busy but I used to ask myself “To what end?” Often it felt as if I was busy for the sake of being busy. Paradoxically, my slowing down hasn’t changed my level of busy-ness. If anything, I feel busier than ever even though I am out of the corporate work environment. However, the key difference is that now I am busy with things that truly matter to me, and I am consciously choosing what matters most to me. Awareness and the ability to slow down help me make conscious choices, and discover rich surprises and eye-opening revelations that bring me alive. Now I hear myself say “This is what life is all about!”

Being honest and compassionate with myself: Madam Secure Rita used to tell me that I am not enough; I don’t do enough; and I don’t have enough. Every chance she had, she tried to provide me with a “false” sense of security and she often led me to believe that I was safe so long as I listened to her. This worked until I woke up to see the truth: that true security and safety are not based on any measurement, validation, or definition of success established by a world to which I do not belong. As the wise poet, David Whyte, poignantly speaks in his poem “Sweet Darkness,” I had to learn that “[t]he world was made to be free in” and that I had to “give up all the other worlds except the one to which [I] belong.” In order to choose, and live freely in, the world to which I belong, I had to be brutally honest with myself and have compassion for who I am and how I am made. Only when I was honest and compassionate with myself, was I able to turn my face away from Madam Secure Rita. As a new resident in the world to which I belong, I can now see the falsehood of Madam Rita’s claims of security and safety which used to imprison me in the “Monday morning box”. I now know that true security and safety come from sustainability: how sustainable is my way of being (or work) as it relates to my purpose in life? I am continuing to practice honesty and compassion with myself, which will also serve as a solid foundation for my sustainable, income generating, work that will reveal its shape when the time is ripe.

These three gifts plus the following prescription have definitely helped me cure LDS:

Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are. ~Chinese proverb

I can assure you that getting rid of tension and allowing relaxation as much as possible is a wonderful way to enjoy the holiday season. Charles, an unbiased witness, thought he’d add proof (the photo at the top of this post) to assure you of my remedy! Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones!